There's a saying: if you keep having to justify yourself somewhere, you're in the wrong place. It could be a job, a relationship, a group of friends, even a home. Every small decision needs an explanation, and you feel like you're on trial until you prove otherwise.
Over time that wears you down. You start weighing every word before you say it, and you put off what you want because you don't want to start another argument.
Who really loves you?
People who truly love you want good things for you, even when those good things take you somewhere else. People who respect and trust you don't ask for a report on your life. They give you room, and they're glad to see you at ease.
That doesn't mean anyone who asks you a question is against you. Someone who cares asks and accepts your answer. Someone who wants control keeps asking until you give the answer they wanted.
Living in fear of other people
A lot of us live with one eye on what people will say: society, family, neighbours, colleagues. In the video I describe that fear as paying for your life in instalments. A little here so this person stays happy, a little there so nobody gets upset.
When you think about it, each of us walks the last part of the road alone. You're the one who lives with the results of the big decisions in your life, so it makes sense that you're the one making them.
Being your own person
Standing strong on your own doesn't mean cutting people off or living in isolation. It means you can stand on your own feet, know what you want, and stop waiting for someone's permission to live. When you're enough for yourself, your relationships become a choice instead of a need.
The worst thing that can happen
Picture someone who grows old, looks back, and realises they spent years stuck in the wrong place, living in fear. To me, that's harder than any failure or mistake.
Plenty of people who built huge fortunes say their most valuable asset is time, because it's the one thing you can't buy back. When you waste your time, you're wasting part of your life.
So if there's a place in your life where you keep justifying yourself, it might be a good moment to ask: why am I still here?