Your food hasn't arrived. You take out your phone and open an app, then another. You're not looking for anything particular; you just don't want to sit and wait. By the time the food comes, you may have started another conversation or agreed to something you hadn't intended to do.
That's the example I use in the video. We've become accustomed to filling gaps, including the few minutes when nothing needs doing. Stopping can begin to feel strange.
Busy doing what?
“Busy without business” describes this well: plenty of activity without a clear purpose. You can spend an hour moving between apps and finish without knowing what you've gained. Some days really are full of responsibilities, but we sometimes add more activity because resting has become unfamiliar.
Before opening your phone next time, notice whether there's something you want to do on it. If you need to send a message, send it. If you're simply avoiding the wait, try leaving the phone alone for a little while. You don't need to turn those minutes into a demanding exercise. You can look around and wait for your food.
The gaps between things
In the video, I talk about natural pauses. I find it easier to choose what to do next when finishing one task doesn't immediately lead to ten others. A pause doesn't always need a call, a purchase, or another news update.
You can try this between two activities. After a conversation, for example, don't immediately open the next app. Notice whether there's something to remember or act on, then decide. There may be nothing you need to do at that moment.
Activities we didn't need
Unplanned activity can create commitments. You talk to someone and make a promise, or order something because an advertisement catches your attention. Later, the new thing needs time and care, when you already felt there weren't enough hours in the day.
That isn't a reason to stop talking to people or buying what you need. But a choice you genuinely want is different from one you've made to occupy yourself. Noticing the difference may help you keep unnecessary commitments out of your life.
Games for grown-ups
We criticize children for staying on their games, then return to our own apps. The comparison in the video is intentional. The activity looks different, but the habit may be familiar: struggling to leave something alone even after it has stopped being useful.
Apps and advertisements compete for our attention. Recognizing that helps, but it doesn't make decisions for us. We can consider which notification deserves an interruption, which can wait, and which app we don't want to check every few minutes.
The art of pausing
The way I discuss meditation here is connected to knowing when to act and when nothing needs doing. Pausing doesn't mean neglecting your responsibilities. It means recognizing when you're adding activity because you're uncomfortable being still.
This is part of why I wanted to share my experiences and build Okaz. I've tried different approaches and practices and wanted to offer what I found useful. These are personal experiences; you can consider what suits you and how to use it in your own life.
Start with a small gap in your day. You don't have to reach for your phone or do anything remarkable. If you've finished what needs doing for now, you can pause and choose the next activity when there's a reason for it.