Someone says something that gets under your skin. You answer them, then spend half the afternoon continuing the argument in your head. You work out what you should have said and imagine their reply. They may have forgotten about it. You're still there.
Your mind is busy, certainly. But are you aware of what you're doing, or just following the thoughts because they keep arriving?
The meaning I'm exploring
In the video, I use “devil” as an image for this state: the mind is working while our awareness is absent. We think or act without noticing what's driving us. That's the meaning I'm exploring here, rather than offering a religious definition of the word.
Fear can affect how you read another person's behavior. They disagree with you, and you feel they're against you. They don't reply, and you assume they're ignoring you. You react before checking. Sometimes there really is a problem. Sometimes you've added one of your own.
The animal side of us
People describe humans as talking animals. There's some truth in that. We have a survival instinct; we feel afraid and try to protect ourselves. The human mind can also keep a fear going long after the immediate situation has passed. We can plan how to humiliate someone next week, then talk ourselves into believing they deserve it.
That's why I say in the video that this side of us can be a hundred times worse in humans. I'm expressing the damage the mind can do, not citing a scientific measurement. You can see the problem in a small disagreement that grows because everyone becomes occupied with defending themselves.
I don't see instinct as something to hate ourselves for. It has energy we can use. It helps us protect ourselves and face difficulties. When we aren't paying attention, though, we can bring far more force to a situation than it needs.
We can notice what we're doing
There is also a part of us that can see all this happening. In the video, I describe it as spiritual, with awareness and light. You might recognize it in a fairly ordinary moment: you're angry, and you realize you're trying to hurt someone because their words hurt you. Seeing that gives you a chance to stop before you say the next thing.
You may still be angry. You may still need to speak to them or set a boundary. Being aware doesn't require you to give up your position. It lets you consider whether what you're about to do will help, or simply cause more hurt.
When I talk about becoming “truly human,” I mean this capacity for awareness and compassion. I don't mean that people lose their worth when they act on instinct or make a mistake. All of us can get caught up in a reaction, then notice it.
Look at it in your own life
You don't have to accept this because you've read it here. The next time something gets to you, pay a little attention to what's happening inside. Notice the thought you keep repeating and what it makes you want to do, especially when you feel you must respond immediately.
If you notice afterward, you can still look back at the situation. Perhaps you hurt someone and need to apologize. Perhaps you agreed to something you didn't want and need to explain. It's easier to see what you can repair when you aren't spending all your effort defending what you did.
This is what I mean by using that energy consciously. It's part of us, and it isn't going away. We can get to know it well enough to notice when it's directing our behavior, rather than repeatedly following it and wondering why we feel so unsettled.