I was walking through the streets of my city here in Ireland when a mural caught my eye: a little girl reaching up for a red, heart-shaped balloon, and next to her the words "Be with someone who makes you happy." Someone had crossed out the word "with". So the sign now read: "Be someone who makes you happy."
It's a small, simple touch, and the whole idea is in it. Don't go begging anyone for your happiness.
We're born complete
We come into the world whole. Then, over time, we lose track of ourselves. We get distracted and dazzled by everything outside: other people, society, the image we're supposed to keep up. And we forget that strength, happiness, balance and love were inside us from day one. We came with the whole package.
Then we fool ourselves into thinking someone else will hand them to us, while that other person is thinking exactly the same thing. It's almost funny: two lost people conning each other, and neither of them knows it.
Nothing stays fixed
Until you see this, you'll keep taking emotional hits for nothing, until you wake up to something simple: nothing in this world stays fixed enough to lean your whole weight on. Life runs on change, and everything has a beginning and an end.
So it's a kind of madness to expect someone to stay exactly the way we want them, forever. Something that never changes isn't a person. It's a corpse.
No white knights, no private property
Ladies, forget the fairy tale of the white knight who'll carry you on his shoulders. Most men these days can barely carry themselves, and each one comes with a hundred flaws, physical and mental.
And men, the same goes for you. No woman is going to carry you for the rest of your life while you sit back as if she were your private property. She's a soul just like you, and one day she may get tired of you and regret the hour she met you.
The bottom line
No one will carry you but you, and no one will make you happy but you. However far you look outside, and however hard you run from yourself because you're scared of being alone, the earth is round. You'll come full circle and find only your own soul beside you. It has been with you the whole time, holding everything you were searching for: love, safety, stability and joy.
None of this means cutting people off or living alone. Good relationships get better when you bring your happiness into them instead of waiting for someone to supply it. But if you let your mind convince you that some person or some place will finally make you happy, you'll keep running for nothing, burning your energy, and end up with more disappointment.
So the next time you catch yourself waiting for someone to make you happy, try crossing out the "with".